YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A BIG DOG WHEN...
* The sound of
running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!"
* You tell your dog to
sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair.
* It takes 3 people to
get your dog on the scale at the vets.
* You walk your dog and
everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people
are.
* You can carry on a
conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch.
* You own a dog capable
of pulling someone from a port-a-potty.
* You carry a tape measure
with you when shopping for a new vehicle.
* You keep at least one
color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house.
* After banishing your
husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake.
* You are hiking with
a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental
impact statement done on your dog.
* Visitors enter the
house holding their privates protectively.
* You toss your dog a
ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway.
* You take your dog for
a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random
right turns.
* You have given up on
water dishes and you just use the bathtub.
* Your two dogs decide
to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down,
for the second time.
* You have to move over
when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink.
* You show a picture
of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out
is your dog.
* While stopped at a
stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because
the dog is panting out the window.
* You go to vacuum your
car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling.
* You've learned to force
a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?"
* The monthly dog budget
exceeds your home mortgage payment.
* Your veterinarian has
been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis
and a vacation home in Florida.
* You have had to train
your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink.
* The donuts you put
on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog
has powdered sugar on his nose.
* Your dog can see what
you're cooking and he tries to assist you in the preparation.
* You're holding him
straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings and you find yourself
quickly transported straight to the front door.
* The pizza delivery
people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk.
* Your dog stands in
your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through
window at McDonalds and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when
she turns around to give you your change.
* You purchase a large
screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front
of the television.
* After surgery, your
bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the vet's office, pulling
the rolling IV stand behind him.
ZZZZZ
