CAT DEFINITIONS
Aquarium:
interactive television for cats.
Cat:
1. A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
2. A four footed allergen.
3. A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
4. A small, furry lap fungus.
5. A treat-seeking missile.
6. A wildlife control expert.
7. One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
8. A hair relocation expert.
9. An unprogrammable animal.
Cataclysm:
Any great upheaval in a cat's life.
Catatonic:
A feline medicinal drink.
Caterpillar:
A soft scratching post for a cat.
Cat Scan:
To look for a new cat.
Dog:
A cat's device for running practice.
Door:
Something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
Energy:
The element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you
try to play with them.
Human:
An automatic door opener for cats.
Impurrsonate:
To act like the cat.
Kitten:
A small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the
point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction
with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners.
Get at least two.
Purrade:
An organized march of cats.
Purradise:
The garden of Cats.
Purramour:
A cat lover.
Purranoia:
The fear that your cat is up to something.
Purraphernalia:
A cat's personal belongings.
Purrch:
Any favored feline napping spot.
Purrchase:
Anything bought for a cat.
Purrfume:
The scent of an open can of tuna.
Purrgatory:
A houseful of kittens.
Purrmission:
A feline hunting expedition.
Purrpetual:
Everlasting feline love.
Purrplex:
A house with two or more cats.
Purrson:
A male kitten.
Purrsuit:
The garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving
home to go to an important meeting.
Purrverse:
A poem about a wicked kitty.
Tooraloorailurophobia:
An irrational fear of Irish cats.
Tuner:
Sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.
Yawn:
A cat's honest opinion openly expressed.
ZZZZZ
