CAT DIARY
Copyright 1999
Mark Mason: All Rights Reserved
For subscription & permission to reprint: http://members.aol.com/catdiary/home/index.htm
I heard
the big owner on the radio with ways to talk about humans and still
be politically correct. Well, here's: "HOW TO TALK ABOUT CATS
& STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT."
I'm not
aloof. I am Hominoidally Unimpressed.
I don't
shed. I develop Follicle Abdication.
I don't
scratch. I cause temporary hemoglobin displacement.
I don't
purr. I am aurally appreciative.
I am not
indifferent. I am Dispassionately Neutral.
I'm not
small. I am Corpus Compactus.
I am not
fat. I have a Distended Cat Food Storage Facility.
I am not
asleep. I am temporarily inert.
I don't
chase mice. I am Rodent Defiant.
I am not
fussy. I become a Fastidious Feline.
I am not
hungry. I suffer from Craving Derangement Disorder.
I'm not
fixed. I am Romantically Inaccessible.
The Big
Owner isn't dumb. He is a Speed Bump on the Information Superhighway.
ZZZZZ
