DOES
YOUR CAT OWN YOU?
1. Do you select your friends
based on how well your cats like them?
2. Does your desire to
collect cats intensify during times of stress?
3. Do you buy more than
50 pounds of cat litter a month?
4. Do you scoop out the
litter box after each use? Do you wait at the box with the scoop in
your hand?
5. Do you think it's cute
when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?
6. Do you admit to non-cat
owners how many cats you really have?
7. Do you sleep in the
same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?
8. Do you kiss your cat
on the lips?
9. Do you feed your cat
tidbits from the table with your spoon?
10. Does your cat sit at
the table (or ON the table) when you eat?
11. Does your cat sleep
on your head? Do you like it?
12. Do you have more than
four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?
13. Do you watch bad TV
because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
14. Did you buy a video
tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?
15. Will you stand at the
open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the
door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
16. Would you rather spend
a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?
17. Do you give your cat
presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat
than you do for your spouse?
18. Do the Christmas cards
you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap? Does your cat
sign the card?
19. Do you put off making
the bed until the cat gets up?
20. Does your cat eat out
of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial
on television?
21. Do you microwave your
cat's food? Prepare it from scratch?
22. Do you climb out of
bed over the headboard or foot board, so you won't disturb the sleeping
cat?
23. When you are preparing
to leave for the day, do you seek out each cat and inform them of your
anticipated return time?
24. Do you sleep with no
pillow under your head, because the cat wants to sleep on it?
25. Do you stand at the
computer because the cat is sleeping on the chair?
26. Do you you make sure
there's plenty of kitty litter in the house, even though you may run
out of toilet paper?
27. At the store, do you
pick out the cat food before you pick out anything for yourself?
28. Do you go to sleep
sitting up in bed because you were reading and the cat is curled up
on your lap asleep?
29. Does it always take
you longer than expected to read a magazine, because the cat keeps curling
up on it while you're reading?
30. Do you frequently leave
your dresser drawer open when you leave for the day, because the cat
jumped into one of them and is asleep in one of the drawers?
31. Is the only comb you
can find in the bathroom a flea comb?
32. Do you cook a special
turkey for your cat on holidays?
33. Does your cat "insist"
on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelet made from eggs,
milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout?
34. Do you have pictures
of your cat in your wallet? Do you bring them out when your friends
share pictures of their children? (Pollsters claim that 40 percent of
cat owners carry their pet's pictures in their wallets, by the way)
35. When people call to
talk to you on the phone, do you insist that they say a few words to
your cat as well?
36. Do you accept dates
only with those who have a cat? If so, do you eventually double-date
with the cats to see how they get along?
37. When someone new comes
to your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to them?
38. Do you keep old, empty
pizza boxes on the counter instead of throwing them away, because the
cat likes to sleep in it?
ZZZZZ
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