SIGNS
YOUR CAT IS TOO FAT
* Cat door
retro-fitted with garage door opener.
* Confused
guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.
* Always
lands on her spleen.
* Fewer
calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches.
* Fifteen
month gestation period, and still no kittens.
* No longer
cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
* Catfood
dish replaced with Rush Limbaugh trough.
* Luxurious,
shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pants suit.
* It's no
longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
* "Steals
breath" from all five quintuplets, simultaneously.
* Waits
for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
* He only
catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
* Enormous
gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
* Has more
chins than lives.
ZZZZZ
