DOG
COMMANDMENTS
Thou shalt
not act half starved whenever thou watches me eat.
Thou shalt
not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree.
Thou shalt
not roll in any smelly stuff thy finds in the yard.
Thou shalt
not lie down next to me and commence making licking and popping noises.
(I know what thou art doing!)
Thou shalt
not dig up my favorite rose bush.
Thou shalt
not treat my shoes as if they were thy chew toy.
Thou shalt
not drink out of the toilet.
Thou shalt
keep thy nose out of the cat's litter box.
Thou shalt
not WATCH the cat while she is in her litterbox.
Thou shalt
not pass gas in my presence, and then walk away as if thou has been
offended by me.
Thou shalt
not run away from home in pursuit of a good time. (thou has been neutered)
Thou shalt
refrain from coughing and gagging while we have company.
Thou shall
not hide thy bones under my pillow.
Thou shalt
not sniff the crotch of everyone thy encounters.
Thou shalt
not harmonize with the cat at 2 a.m.
Thou shalt
not sneak up on me and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.
Thou shalt
refrain from becoming overly affectionate with my mother-in-law's
leg.
ZZZZZ
