IS
YOUR PET NORMAL?
To see if your dog has a
problem, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Does your dog know the spelling, Latin
root and French translation of the word "walk," yet is unable to grasp the
meaning of the word "come?"
2. Does your dog immediately leap on a cat,
bunny rabbit, or child upon hearing the words, "Don't worry he LOVES cats, bunny
rabbits and children?"
3. Is your dog shameless, graceless,
without dignity and extremely in touch with his inner puppy?
4. Does he wake you up in the middle of the
night to warn you of the dangers of a kitchen chair, then sleep through the theft of all
your valuable possessions?
5. Does he develop a tragic and profound
deafness at the sound of, "It's time to go home," yet possess bionic hearing at
the sound of a can opener?
If you answered "yes" to most of
these questions . . . relax, your dog is normal!
To see if your cat has a
problem, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Does your cat sleep 22 hours a day, and
spend the other two hours in non-stop eating?
2. Does your cat take frequent naps in
annoying places, such as in the center of the dinner table, in the kitchen sink, or on top
of your freshly-cleaned-of-hair bedspread?
3. Is your cat selfish? Conceited?
Arrogant? Aloof? Insensitive?
4. Does he wake you up in the middle of the
night and refuse to stop meowing until you accompany him to his food bowl to watch him
eat?
5. Does your cat tear down holiday
decorations? Does he destroy any stuffed toy or cat-sized household ornament which might
be misconstrued as his competition?
6. Does your cat perceive himself to be
sole owner of all property? Does he often show disdain for your taste, or act as if you
are an embarrassment to him?
If you answered "yes" to most of
these questions . . . relax, your cat is normal!
 
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