HOW
TO PHOTOGRAPH A NEW PUPPY
1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and
throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee
grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from
mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and
return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy
on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy
with other hand.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from
lens.
11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the
scratch on puppy's nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy's attention by
squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera
for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff
of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
17. Clean up mess.
18. Sit back in chair with lemonade and
resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the
morning.
 
|
