HOUSECLEANING TIPS
FOR INTERNET JUNKIES
Sweeping and Mopping the floors -- Have dog
sweep floors with tail and lick up all crumbs. Any stubborn spots that require scrubbing
recruit cat... may have to add tuna water to spot. If you don't have a dog or cat... well
you are in trouble ... go find one roaming the neighborhood quick!
Vacuuming -- Call for demo from salesman.
Have him show you how the vacuum works in all parts of the house ... insisting the carpet
looks the same...but really is different in all parts of the house. Tips for success:
Don't always call same company ... keep a chart and rotate.
Dusting -- Only do what is at eye level or
below. And only right before someone is coming over! Run rag over everything quickly
(don't even waste your precious time on the Pledge or Endust... that's minutes away from
your computer ... and that just is unacceptable!). For the illusion of using those
products ... spray a few squirts to air like air freshener.
Laundry -- First find a good place to hide
it! If you have to do it... like you have no underwear... (heck who needs underwear). Okay
... lets say its time to fold those rotten clothes ... run the dryer again... and again
and again ... and when the utility bill comes... have a stroke!
Cleaning toilet -- Close the lid.
Cleaning Shower -- Close the shower door or
curtain.
Cleaning the rest of the Bathroom -- Close
the door. Again ... for the illusion of a freshly cleaned bath ... pour some Lysol in the
trash can ... that illusion will stay until you finally get someone to empty the trash for
you. Speaking of which......
Taking out the Trash -- If you cant find
anyone in your house to take it out... bribe a neighbor ... say you hurt your back or some
other sob story... that one might be good for getting at least a few sympathy dinners out
of the neighbor as well! Try not to use it too often ... they might get suspicious.
Dishes -- Dishwasher ... if it doesn't come
off run it again and again ...if that doesn't work ... throw the dish out and start fresh.
Better yet ... paper plates, plastic utensils and plastic cups are far better way to go...
(as long as your neighbor is taking out the trash).
We hope you find our list helpful in
allowing you more and more online time. As we have all learned frozen dinners and take out
foods are a life saver on those days that you just cant seem to get your butt outta the
puter chair ... good luck... We hope to see more of you online soon!
 
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