HOW THINGS WOULD BE
DIFFERENT IF MICROSOFT WAS LOCATED IN GEORGIA
* Their No. 1 product would be
"Microsoft Winders."
* Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get
an empty beer bottle.
* Occasionally, you'd bring up a window
that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.
* Instead of "Yes,"
"No," or "Cancel," dialog boxes would give you the choice of
"Aww-right," "Naw," or "Git."
* Instead of "Ta-Dah!" the
opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos."
* The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95
would be an outhouse.
* Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player,
you'd hear "Freebird!"
* Instead of "Start Me Up," the
Winders95 theme song would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie."
* Powerpoint would be named
"ParPawnt."
* Instead of "VP," Microsoft big
shots would be called "Cuz."
* Hardware could be repaired using parts
from an old Trans Am.
* Daisy Duke screen saver.
* "Well, the first thing you know old
Bill's a billionaire..."
* Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull
Simulator.
* Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob"
(a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.
* "ParPawnt" would have a
"Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation template.
* One wrong turn while surfing the web
would send you face to face with a 12-gauge shotgun.
* "This computer protected by Smith
and Wesson" screen saver.
* Directions to Corporate Headquarters:
"Down the road a block or so."
* Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell
checker, "Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me."
  
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