14 SIGNS YOUR ONLINE
RELATIONSHIP ISN'T WORKING OUT
Copyright 1998 Chris White The
Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com
14) You discover that "Chesty
McBust" isn't her real name, and she's dialing in from Langley, VA.
13) You: Large, hairy man. Your online
girlfriend: Large, hairy man.
12) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not
as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."
11) After months of shared experiences and
emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she
learns you're worth 45,000 points.
10) "Returned mail: User unknown and
never wants to hear from you again."
9) Your cyberlover is just too busy editing
that silly little Top 5 List.
8) Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable,
she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.
7) You discover that she has been cutting
and pasting her orgasms.
6) You can barely make out your SO's face
in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats.
5) He claims to be the richest man in the
world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.
4) Since her first e-mail,
Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.
3) She's suddenly changed her address to
comingout@lesbian.com
2) Ken Starr launches an investigation into
your relationship with the mysterious "tubby@whitehouse.gov"
1) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover
that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14
year old boy she'd pretended to be.
 
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