MEMO
TO ALL EMS PERSONNEL
To: All EMS Personnel From: Chief of
Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions
It has come to our attention from several
emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately.
Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to
describe patients, such as the following.
1) Cardiac patients should not be referred
to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking)
or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).
2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie
Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their
mental state.
3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to
shit), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper."
Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative
vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained
professionals, not "glow worms."
5) Persons with altered mental states as a
result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not
"trans-occipital implants."
7) The homeless are not "urban
outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC
Challenge."
8) And finally, do not refer to recently
deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel
Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing
records).
I know you will all join me in respecting
the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating
proper narratives and log entries.
 
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