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THE FACELIFT

 

An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a facelift.

He says,  "Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years, and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years."

The old lady says,  "Well tell me about them."

The doctor says,  "For $1000, you are going to get a half-ass job that you pay very little for."

She responds,  "Forget that one, what about the next one?"

He explains,  "For $3000, we do a much better job and pay close attention to detail, but it's only guaranteed for 3 years."

The lady says,  "No, that's no good either, what about the last one?"

The doctor replies,  "For $5000, you are going to get the best facelift with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery.  There will be a screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, just come back in and we will tighten the screw."

The lady is delighted and has the surgery.  About 6 months later she comes back to the office very upset.

"Doctor, I want my money back because I look horrible.  Look at these bags under my eyes!"

The doctor leans back in his chair and says,  "Lady, you aren't getting anything back.  Those bags under your eyes are your boobs and if you keep messing with that screw, you're going to have a beard!"

 

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