NEW MEDICINES FOR
WOMEN
With the introduction of Viagra to fix a
perennial male problem, a famous British pharmaceutical company is working to redress the
balance.
MIRRORCILLIN - A 5cc dose
enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to four hours without pausing once.
STOPPANAGGIN - Gives women
a vague feeling of contentment towards their spouse/boyfriend.
COSMOPOLIRA - Doubles
female intelligence to almost simian levels, allowing 'facts' in trash lifestyle magazines
to be disputed.
LOGICON - Trials showed
that females taking this were able to follow a proposition through to its logical
conclusion, and argue effectively without being diverted into non relevant postulates such
as 'you don't love me anymore'.
PARKATRON - 72% of women
taking this were able to safely reverse park a Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 meters
long; 54% achieved this in under 15 minutes.
MAGNATACK - Uniquely
distorts the cornea, making certain shapes appear much larger than in reality - no
practical use for this drug has yet been found.
WARDROBIA - Clinical
trials show that almost 23% of women taking this drug can safely walk past a sale notice,
and an amazing 42% stayed within their credit limit.
BEERINTULIN - Engenders a
female desire to bring her spouse/boyfriend alcoholic beverages and snacks during
televised sports.
 
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