NEW MEDICINE FOR MEN
With Viagra such a great medical success
for increasing men's sexual prowess, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs
oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society. Here are a few of
the new ones:
DIRECTRA - a dose of this
drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask
directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this
experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project
before starting a new one.
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical
trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had
a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new
clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and
otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and
gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the
drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the
exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S.
presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug
had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually
converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex
drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus:
Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has
been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).
Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA - About to fail
its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into
the personal affairs of other people.
Note: Apparent overdose turned three test
subjects into "special prosecutors."
LIAGRA - This drug causes
men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be
available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.
  
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