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YOU MIGHT BE A NURSE IF. . .

You avoid unhealthy looking peoples in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.

You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."

You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.

You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.

You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.

You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.

You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.

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