CODE
OF ETHICAL PATIENT BEHAVIOR
We all go the doctor for our aches, pains
worries and some of us just to have someone to listen to our problems. Guess what, doctors
are human too, so here are is a guide of what to do and not to do code of ethical patient
behavior.
1. Do not expect your doctor to share your
discomfort. They've already heard it before. Just sit back and take the pain
2. Be cheerful at all times. If you make
your doctors unhappy, they might just make a slip with the needle as they are inserting it
into your butt.
3. Try to suffer from the disease for which
you are being treated. Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
It wouldn't look to good if you are smiling when the medical books indicate you should be
wincing.
4. It's still sexual harassment even if
you're a babe, your sustained and repeated come-ons to pay in 'trade' are still
harassment.
5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he
is doing or why he is doing. Hey, 4 years of medical school, 4- 7 years in residency and
another one or two in fellowships have already made it impossible for your doctor to speak
normal English anyway.
6. Submit to novel experimental treatment
readily. Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper
will surely be of widespread interest, and you might even become famous in a medical
textbook, or if you really complain enough, have a procedure named after you.
7. Pay your medical bills promptly and
willingly. (see #2, keep you doctor happy..)
8. Never die while in your doctor's
presence or under his direct care. That's really bad form!
9. There is no excuse for smelling like
that... Yes we do smell you... Take a bath. Your treatment room can't be used for others
for the rest of the day and you almost killed the doctor.
10. Farting is not 'natural and ordinary'
just cause you're with a doctor. You may likely be told you need a referral to a
'specialist'.
11. It turns out the nurses do not want to
have sex with you. It's a shame but true.
 
|
