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SIGNS
YOU'RE IN A BAD HOSPITAL
*You go in for routine surgery, you come
out with a tail.
*You recognize your doctor as kid who was
mopping the lobby when you checked in.
*Instead of sponge bath, they send St.
Bernard to lick you.
*As you're going under, your surgeon says,
"Man, am I baked!"
*In the operating room, you see a surgeon
holding a sign that says, "WILL DO SURGERY FOR FOOD!"
*Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle
playing Taps.
*All the diplomas on the wall are signed by
Sally Struthers.
*You and your roommate have to take turns
on the I.V.
*Through fog of anesthesia, you hear
surgeon shouting, "Bring the damn Scotch tape! And plenty of it!"
*Instead of "patient," they use
the term "plaintiff."
 
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