I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the
cellar, and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else.
After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the
unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle
and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
Then, I withdrew the cork from the second
bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third
bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle
down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the
next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and
poured the cork down the bottle. Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink
and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied
the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other,
which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had
all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under the affluence of incohol as
some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't
know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
