A fellow decides to take off early from
work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2 a.m., at which time he is
extremely drunk.
When he enters his house, he doesn't want
to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half way up
the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have
been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they
broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly.
But, he was so drunk that he didn't know he
was hurt.
A few minutes later, as he was undressing,
he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind
was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the
circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and
his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good
story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last
night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said,
"and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers ? That's a
laugh," she replied.
"You got plastered last night. Where
the heck did you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk
last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "My
first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of Band-Aids stuck to the
mirror."
