NEW GOVERNMENT
WARNINGS ON DRINKING
As most Americans are familiar with, the
federal government mandates health warnings on Alcoholic products to warn people about the
potential negative effects. This is also an increasing occurrence in other countries as
well.
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead
you to think that a "2" is a "10".
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH
YOUR HEAD IN.
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause
you to thay shings like thish.
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead
you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the
morning.
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave
you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause
you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name
you can't remember).
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really
big guy, named Chuck.
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead
you to think people are laughing WITH you.
AND Instead of warning women not to drink
when they are pregnant the new guidelines should read...
**WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.
 
|
