YOU
KNOW NO ONE LOVES YOU IF...
- The pet cat got better food than you did.
- Your parents told you about strange men
giving away sweets and to go and find as many of them as possible.
- You play "hide & seek" with
your Mother and she hides in another town.
- Your parents take you to an orphanage and
tell you to mingle.
- Your parents told you about the magic
money box in the cupboard where you can hide your pocket money, and - you've since found
out it was the coin-op electric meter.
- You had to share your sandbox with the
cat.
- You always got your weekly allowance in
Traveler's Checks.
- Your folks threw a
"going-into-the-Army" party when you were only three years old.
- You run away, and the family can't give
the Police an accurate description.
- You kept getting left beside the monkey
enclosure at the zoo.
- You were always stood-up at the
Father-Son banquet held at the local Church.
- Kidnappers send back a piece of your ear
and your parents demand more proof before they pay any ransom.
- When you were born, your Father gave out
old cigar butts.
- Your parents encourage you to fish in
shark infested waters.
- As a baby, your Father threw you in the
air and walked away.
- You find out your Mother is nursing
another baby on the side.
- Your tub toys included a toaster shaped
like a rubber duck.
 
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