SIGNS
YOU PUT YOUR KID IN THE WRONG PRE-SCHOOL
* Child comes home without glasses claiming
to have lost them in a game of "Lord of the Flies."
* Your son thinks making hand-puppets
requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants.
* "OK, kids! Gather 'round the
pentagram for sing-a-long time!"
* Potty training involves a lighter, a clip
and rolling papers.
* No student has ever jumped from Mary
Margaret's School for the Gender Ambiguous directly into the NBA.
* Practice of "trapping and killing
your lunch" not mentioned in brochure.
* Leather-clad teacher announces that
today's letters are S and M.
* The classroom hamster is really just a
wad of cotton from an aspirin bottle.
* She can't say her ABC's, but she can
re-sole your Nikes in 20 seconds flat.
* Even the baby bottles have pierced
nipples.
* For snack time, it's always anchovies and
Clamato.
* "Do-Bee" always seems to have
the munchies.
* The teacher sends home a note reading,
"Your snot-nosed little bastard keeps getting into my tequila."
* On the first day, the children are
divided into "pimps" and "hos."
 
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