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HOUSES TO AVOID AT HALLOWEEN

* Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole.

* Any house made of food.

* Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement.

* Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it.

* Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas.

* Any house that growls "get out."

* Any house where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor.

* Any house that looks like a giant pulsating orb floating 3 feet off the ground.

* Any house with various and extremely realistic statues in the front yard of people in odd "running away" poses.

* Any house that wasn't there only a minute ago.

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