NOSTRADAMUS
PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 2000
* And the empire of the Great Nerd of the
West shall crumble, when the thinking machines are destroyed by two millenniums of
insects.
* The Anti-Christ will lose in personal
combat with a small purple purse-carrying being with a triangle on its head.
* The Empire of the Right shall be led by a
simpleton who knoweth not the spelling of the fruits of the earth.
* Women will take fitness advice from a
hyperactive frizzy-haired man of questionable heterosexuality.
* A man made of wood will lead the great
nation of the eagle.
* Devastation, fire, sword, pillage befalls
the Elephant and the two-faced cow known as Linda.
* In a town known as Slidell, in a place
called Louisiana, in a country designated the United States, there will be an eatery
referred to as Taco Bell, that will eventually fill a drive-thru order correctly.
* The one-gloved king of the land known as
Pop will form an unholy union with a particularly naughty chimpanzee.
* Joy and happiness reign supreme as five
billion people realize they'll never again have to listen to a much-despised song by an
ex-Prince.
* Cubs win! Cubs win! Cubs win!
* A giant, fiery ball will drop from the
skies onto the Square of Times in the New City of York, causing much screaming and
wailing.
* As the new millennium approaches, morons
will cry out and hoard large quantities of food.
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