A little kid sits on Santa's lap, and Santa
says, "What would you like for Christmas?"
The kid says, "A damn swingset."
Santa says, "You'll have to ask nicer
than that if you want Santa to bring you presents. Let's try again. What else would you
like?"
The kid says, "A damn sandbox for the
side yard."
Santa says, "That's no way to talk to
Santa. One more time. What else would you like for Christmas?"
The boy thinks for a minute, and then he
says, "I want a damn trampoline in the front yard."
Santa lifts the boy off his lap and goes to
talk to the kid's parents. He tells them what the kid said, and then says, "I know
how to stop it. Don't get him anything for Christmas except dog doo. Put a pile of dog doo
in the backyard where he wants the swingset, put another pile in the side yard where he
wants the sandbox, and another pile in the front yard where he wants the trampoline. That
should make him change his tune."
Christmas morning the kid goes downstairs
to open his presents, and there aren't any. He runs out the back door, looks around, and
comes back in. He runs out the side door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the
front door, looks around, and comes back in, shaking his head.
His father says, "What's wrong,
son?"
The kid says, "Santa brought me a damn
dog, but I can't find him."
