You think you got it bad? All night long I
deal with soot in the chimneys, smelly socks, cross dogs, getting shot at, mistaken for a
stork, driving all night in the snow - damn near got killed by a 747. Mrs. Clause is
pissed off cause I got in so late.
Donner and Blitzen and Rudolph got the
shits over Albuquerque and you should see my suit. The damn elves won't clean the sleigh
unless I pay them double time.
I'm so sick of cookies and milk, I could
vomit. The only highball I had all night was when I slipped getting out of my sleigh.
My prostate is giving me hell. I peed my
pants at 20,000 feet and froze my ass to the seat. I'm allergic to pine needles. I itch
all over and I think my hemorrhoids are back.
