The judge asked the defendant to please
stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."
From out in the gallery, a man shouts,
"Lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" the judge
says to the man who shouted. He turns to the defendant and says, "You are also
charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"Damn tightwad," the same man in
the gallery blurted out.
"I said QUIET!" yelled the judge.
To the defendant, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric
drill."
"You jackass!" the man from the
gallery yelled.
The judge thundered at the man in the
galley, "If you don't tell me right now the reasons for your outbursts, I'll hold you
in contempt!"
The man answered back, "I've lived
beside that man for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to
borrow one?!"
