YOU
KNOW YOU'RE FROM ALASKA WHEN...
* You have taken your kids trick or
treating in a blizzard.
* You live in a house that has no front
steps, yet the door is one meter above the ground!
* You only have four spices,
salt...pepper...ketchup...and Tabasco.
* The dang mosquitoes have landing lights.
* Kids Halloween costumes fit over
snowsuits.
* Driving is better in winter because the
snow covers the potholes up.
* Everyone has hundreds of recipes for
moose meat.
* You owe more money on your snowmobile
than your car.
* At least twice a year the kitchen doubles
as a meat processing plant.
* Sexy lingerie is fleece socks and flannel
nightie, but with only eight buttons.
* Snow blower gets stuck on the roof again.
* The most effective bug repellant in
Alaska that works is a shotgun.
* The trunk of your car doubles as a deep
freezer.
* You find -60c a tad chilly.
* The mayor greets you on the street by
your first name.
* You know which leaves make good toilet
paper.
* You frequently clean grease off your
barbecue so the bears won't prowl your deck.
* Moose season is a state holiday!
* The municipality buys a zamboni before a
bus.
* Shoveling the driveway constitutes great
upper body workout.
* You know the four seasons: winter, still
winter, almost winter, and construction.
* You attend a formal event in your best
clothes, your finest jewels, and your bunny boots.
* The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo,
it's sausage making.
* Two speed limits in Alaska, the get outta
my way limit, and taking cover limit.
 
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