YOU
MIGHT BE FROM COLORADO IF...
... You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on
top of your $500 car.
... You thought "Californication"
would be banned by Amendment 2.
... You think "South Park" is a
place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.
... You have a business degree and are
frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.
... You have a flat tire in your
refrigerator and your garage.
... You tell your husband to pick up
granola on his way home from work and he stops at the day care.
... You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck,
Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.
... You cast out your fishing line while
white-water rafting.
... You've never seen the tourist
attractions in your own city.
... All summer you thought a redneck named
"Bubby" was gonna be your quarterback.
...You think a pass does not involve a
football or a woman.
... You are 82 years old and take up
snowboarding.
... Your SUV tire size exceeds your IQ.
... Your real Y2K fear is running out of
Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.
... The entire top of your head is bald,
but you still have a pony tail.
... You personally wouldn't pay $10 per
head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth, but you tell all our
house-guests to do it.
... You can recite the entire Bible from
memory, but can't remember to use your turn signal (CO Springs).
... You get depressed after one day of
foggy weather.
... You wear the latest fashions a year
after they went out of style.
... You think that formal wear is ironed
denim.
... North means "mountains to the
left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all
those damned liberals keep moving in from.
... You go anywhere else on the planet and
the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.
... You consider a three-piece suit to be a
pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.
... You see your East Coast relatives now
more than when you lived there.
... You think gun control is not dropping
it.
... Your bridal registry is at REI.
... You can run up 10 flights of stairs
without huffing and puffing.
... You've ever stood on solid ground and
looked down on an airplane in flight.
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