Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven,
God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the
seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and
proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've
made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said,
"What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God,
"and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great
place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael,
still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts
of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot
spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of
black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then
pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's
Pennsylvania, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers,
streams, and mountains. The people from Pennsylvania are going to be modest, intelligent
and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely
sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as
diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but
then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you
see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them in New Jersey."
