RULES
FOR DRIVING IN NEW YORK CITY
* When on a one way street, stay to the
right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.
* Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless
he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
* The first parking space you see will be
the last parking space you see. Grab it.
* Never get in the way of a car that needs
extensive body work.
* Always look both ways when running a red
light.
* Never use directional signals when
changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.
* Making eye contact revokes your right of
way.
* Whenever possible, stop in the middle of
a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian
ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on
the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.
 
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