TRAVEL
TIPS
Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced
Traveler:
- Be very suspicious if the advertised
price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo."
- Consider carefully before visiting a
country where the license plate motto is Die American Pig.
* There is no legitimate reason for a
travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.
* If you find yourself in Iran, do not use
the word blanket head.
* On a trip to Canada, your travel agent
should not charge you for an interpreter.
* While in the Vatican, do not refer to St.
Peter as "Petey-Boy."
* Do not board a cruise ship if passengers
are being issued oars.
* Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay
of Pigs, Two.
* In South America, say no to anyone
wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.
* Legitimate travel agents do not dress in
foreign military uniforms.
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