THE
FEMALE RULES
1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without
notice.
3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows
all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is
because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must
apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any
time.
9. The Male must never change his mind
without the express written consent of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry
or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times,
unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no
circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind
of the Female at all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what
the Female meant, not what she said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES,
it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES
are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.
17. If the Male, at any time, believes he
is right, he must refer to Rule #5.
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