ODE
TO A PENIS
I'll tell you a short poem;
I'll try to make it quick.
You might think it quite harmless;
You might well find it sick.
The subject is quite simple:
The joy of having a dick.
Penises are super things;
You ladies should be jealous.
Ever since the early days,
When it was small and hairless;
I've looked upon that bit of flesh,
As something very precious.
It starts to grow dramatically,
When you're about thirteen.
Your testicles on either side;
Your willy in between.
When erect it's quite a sight;
A purple love machine.
It dangles neatly down below;
Obedient and loyal.
Its seeds are hidden well within;
Awaiting some fresh soil.
At the slightest hint of lust,
It's ready to uncoil.
It has a mind all of its own;
It's like a wild beast.
It squirms and writhes and stretches out;
When you expect it least.
You can't control its energy;
You must wait 'til it's ceased.
Handle it with love and care;
For it can give great pleasure.
Has it grown since last weekend?
And when did you last measure?
Still, no matter what its length;
It's something you should treasure.
Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves;
Erecting when it shouldn't.
A bumpy train ride sets it off;
Just when you wish it wouldn't.
Did that lady notice it?
You blush and hope she couldn't.
Some people fret about its size;
They give it lots of thought.
Is seven inches long enough?
It makes blokes quite distraught.
They peek across in public loos,
And try not to get caught.
Masturbating is a sin;
That's what some folk believe.
But those are just old wives' tales;
Outdated and naive.
And if you're feeling tense or stressed,
A quick wank does relieve.
Without this fabulous device,
No shag would be complete.
Lesbians will try their best;
But must admit defeat.
And what a handy tool it is,
When one needs to excrete.
The penis is quite marvelous;
It has so many uses.
For women it is special too;
Excitement it induces.
And babies can be procreated,
From its sperm-filled juices.
And always it remains with you;
Until you're old and frail.
Don't take it out in public though,
Or you'll be thrown in jail.
Just look at it and feel proud;
And thank the lord you're male.
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