SIGNS
SHE IS GETTING BORED HAVING SEX WITH YOU
* After you request sex she replies,
"Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."
* Gets very upset when the ashtray falls
off your ass.
* Actually answers when you ask,
"Who's your daddy?"
* Last time she screamed during sex was the
first time she won at solitaire.
* Only moans during commercial breaks.
* Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay.
* Keeps trying to set you up with her
friends.
* Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.
* You are currently sitting backstage at
the Springer show.
* Beginning to think she is only
"playing" dead.
* During the act, she actually yelled out,
"Oh, Baby, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda."
* Has suddenly started making you pay in
advance.
* Her moans of delight discovered to
actually be a .wav file.
* Instead of asking to leave her shirt on,
she wants to leave her pants on too.
* Keeps asking, "Are you sure
you're not gay?"
* Boredom? So that's why she keeps
deflating.
* Holds up a picture of the Playboy
centerfold to hurry you along.
* Asks to be on top so she can balance her
checkbook better.
* She yells out her own name.
* Bangs her head on the headboard before
you begin.
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