BENEFITS OF BEING A
WOMAN
* We can get rid of leg hair without
pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming or any other sport that would require
aerodynamic legs.
* We absently hum tunes from musicals
without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
* When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous.
When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.
* We can use cosmetics should we wake up
looking like something the cat dragged in.
* We can wear platforms - which is why
there is no such thing as a "little woman syndrome."
* We don't have to get our strength up
between sessions... no it's much easier for us to get it in the first place.
* We can get off with those years younger
than us without being called dirty old perverts.
* We can scare male bosses with mysterious
gynecological disorder excuses.
* We get to flirt with systems support men
who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
* We know that Tetris is the computer game
to end all games.
* We got off the Titanic first.
* Our boyfriend's clothes make us look
elfin and gorgeous - they look like complete dorks in ours.
* We have total control over our eyebrows.
* We can be groupies. Male groupies are
stalkers.
* It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad
to be a mommy's boy.
* We can cry and get off speeding fines.
* The thrill of surprising people by being
good at darts... and pool... and football.
* We live longer, so we can be cantankerous
old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers... men die earlier so
we get to cash in on the life insurance.
* We know that games are fun, but don't
believe there's a direct correlation between the size of our scores and the size of
our...womanhood.
* Taxis stop for us.
* We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
* We have no desire to arrange our
possessions in alphabetical order. Ever.
* We've never fancied a cartoon character
or the central figure in a computer game.
* It does not enhance our social standing
to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look
INCREDIBLY cool if we do.
* We never recognize ourselves in aspects
of Mr. Bean. Ever.
* We don't look like a frog in a blender
when dancing.
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