MANLINESS ASSESSMENT
Please take the following Manliness
Assessment.....
1) In the company of females, intercourse
should be referred to as:
a. lovemaking
b. screwing
c. the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2) You should make love to a woman for the
first time only after you've both shared:
a. your views about what you expect from a
sexual relationship
b. your blood-test results
c. five tequila slammers
3) You time your orgasm so that:
a. your partner climaxes first
b. you both climax simultaneously
c. you don't miss SportsCenter
4) Passionate, spontaneous sex on the
kitchen floor is:
a. healthy, creative love-play
b. not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c. not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5) Spending the whole night cuddling a
woman you've just had sex with is:
a. the best part of the experience
b. the second best part of the experience
c. $100 extra
6) Your girlfriend says she's gained five
pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a. no concern of yours
b. not a problem, she can join your gym
c. a conservative estimate
7) You think today's sensitive, caring man
is:
a. a myth
b. an oxymoron
c. a moron
8) Foreplay is to sex as:
a. appetizer is to entree
b. primer is to paint
c. a line is to an amusement park ride
9) Which of the following are you most
likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship:
a. "I hope we can still be
friends"
b. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep"
c. "Welcome to Dumpsville; population, YOU."
10) A woman who is uncomfortable watching
you masturbate:
a. probably needs a little more time before
she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b. is uptight and a waste of time
c. shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
Evaluating the results:
If you answered "a" more than 7
times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered "b" more than 7
times, check into therapy, you're more than a little confused.
If you answered "c" more than 7
times, "YOU DA MAN!"
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