SIGNS THE ROMANCE
HAS GONE OUT OF YOUR MARRIAGE
* You let one rip in your sleep and don't
care if he hears.
* Talking dirty in bed means shouting
obscenities when he hogs the blanket.
* Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets
slam in your face.
* PMS lasts all month.
* Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is
on open display.
* "Honey, what are you thinking?"
is now, "Are you finished yet?!"
* He yawns when you bitch about that guy
hitting on you at work.
* Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have
become way too uncomfortable.
* Two weeks no orgasm.
* Three weeks no orgasm ... and you still
don't miss it.
* When he lends you five bucks, he expects
it back.
* You'd rather spend quality time with your
vibrator.
* The way he breathes is getting on your
nerves.
* Spouse using your toothbrush to scrub
tile grout.
* Candlelight dinners now illuminated by
sticks of dynamite.
* Spouse has gone from moaning while making
love to moaning ABOUT making love.
* Victoria's Secret? More like K-Mart's
Special.
* The only thigh you see on your
anniversary is at KFC.
* Morning breath no longer gives you that
same thrill.
* Husband's casual suggestions to "try
swinging" are growing alarmingly frequent.
* Your husband wants to adopt a 17 year-old
waitress from Hooters.
* A romantic Saturday night at home now
includes Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman.
* Wife keeping list of things she'll do
after you're finally dead.
* Request for sex now gets you $100 and a
ticket to Vegas.
ZZZZZ
  
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