WHEN YOU ARE DATING/
WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED
Farting is never an issue/You make sure
there's nothing flammable near your husband...... at all times.
He takes you out to have a good time/He
brings home a 6 pack and says, "What are you going to drink?"
He holds your hand in public/He flicks your
ear in public.
A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad/A King
size bed feels like an Army cot.
You are turned on at the sight of him
naked/You think to yourself.... "Was he ALWAYS this hairy????"
You enjoyed foreplay/You tell him "If
we have sex, will you leave me alone???"
He hugs you, when he walks by you for no
reason/He grabs your boob any chance he gets.
You picture the two of you together,
growing old/You wonder who will die first.
Just looking at him makes you feel all
"mushy"/When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.
He knows what the "hamper" is/The
floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.
He understands if you "aren't in the
mood"/He says, "It's your job."
He understands that you have
"male" friends/He thinks they are all out to steal you away.
He likes to "discuss" things/He
develops a "blank" stare.
He calls you by name/He calls you
"Hey" and refers to you when speaking to others as "She."
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