ALIENS ON EARTH
Late one night, an alien spacecraft landed
near a deserted gas station. After a bit, one of the aliens came down the ramp, looked
around, and walked over to one of the gas pumps, where he demanded, "Earthling! Take
me to your leader!"
The gas pump, of course, did not reply. The
alien became agitated and again demanded, "Take me to your leader!" The gas pump
remained silent.
Frustrated, the alien went back to the
spacecraft where he was confronted by the captain who wanted a report.
"I contacted an earthling - but he
would not cooperate."
"Hmmm. I will deal with this earthling
myself," said the captain.
"Yes sir. Be careful sir, I have a
feeling there could be trouble."
The captain left the ship and approached
the gas pump. "Earthling, you will cooperate. Take me to your leader."
The gas pump remained unresponsive.
"Very well." The captain drew his
blaster. "If you do not respond by the count of three, I shall be forced to fire
on you......One. Two. Three!" ZZZZZT!
WHAM! The gas pump exploded, knocking the
alien ass over tea kettle. The captain jumped up and got back to the ship as fast as his
whatever's would propel him.
"Quickly! Make ready to
depart!" shouted the captain.
"Yes sir. What happened sir?"
"I fired on the earthling and it
responded very forcefully," replied the captain.
"Sorry sir, I was afraid that might
happen."
"How did you know that there would be
trouble?" the captain asked.
"Well sir, I assumed that anyone who
can take his pecker, wrap it around his feet and stick it in his left ear was probably
going to be one mean bastard."
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