WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
* In the memo field of all your checks,
write, "for sensual massage."
* Specify that your drive-through order is
"to go."
* If you have a glass eye, tap on it
occasionally with your pen while talking with others.
* Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
* Insist on keeping your car windshield
wipers running in all weather conditions, "to keep them tuned up."
* Reply to everything someone says with,
"that's what YOU think."
* Practice making fax and modem noises.
* Make beeping noises when you back up.
* Finish all your sentences with the words,
"in accordance with prophecy."
* Signal that a conversation is over by
clamping your hands over your ears.
* Holler random numbers while someone is
counting.
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all
the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Publicly investigate just how slowly you
can make a "croaking" noise.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and
simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash register.
* TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
* type only in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen
times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone
now."
* As much as possible, skip rather than
walk.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by
tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait -- I messed
it up." Then repeat.
* Ask people what gender they are.
* While making presentations, occasionally
bob your head like a parakeet.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair
dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Sing along at the opera.
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each
poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions,
then scribble their answers in a notebook and mutter something about "psychological
profiles."
* Tell your friends that you can't attend
their party, five days prior to the event, because you're "not in the mood."
 
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