CONFUCIUS SAYS:
"Man who walk through airport door
sideways is going to Bangkok."
"Man who drop watch in toilet, bound
to have shitty time."
"Man who kisses girl's behind, gets
crack in face."
"Man who live in glass house, dress in
basement."
"Kotex not best thing on earth, but
next to best thing."
"Sailor who gets discharged from navy
leave buddies behind."
"Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz
time and 1/4 rag time."
"He who crosses the ocean twice
without washing is a dirty double crosser."
"Man who tell one to many light bulb
jokes soon burn out!"
"Woman who cooks carrots and peas in
same pot is unsanitary."
"Man with no legs bums around."
"Baby ill-conceived in automatic car
shiftless bastard."
"A bird in hand makes hard to blow
nose."
"Find old man in dark, not hard!"
"Man who smoke pot choke on
handle."
"Man who put head on Rail Road track
to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."
"Girl who marry detective must kiss
dick."
"Girl who is wallflower at party is
dandelion in bed."
"Passionate kiss like spider's web ...
soon lead to undoing of fly."
"Baseball is wrong. Man with
four balls cannot walk."
"Wife who put husband in dog house
soon find him in cat house."
"Man who fight with wife all
day, get no piece at night."
"It takes many nails to build a crib,
but only one screw to fill it."
"Man who bounce woman on bedspring
this spring, have offspring next spring."
"A man with his hands in pockets feels
foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts."
"Honeymooning campers have one
intent!"
"Man who sells Kotex, is crack
salesman."
"Man who lay girl on hill not on
level."
"Man with athletic finger make broad
jump."
"Virgin like balloon: one
prick, all gone."
"Man who plays with titty gets bust in
mouth."
"Woman pilot who fly upside down have
crack up."
"Man who lays girl in field gets piece
on earth."
"Man who have hole in pocket feels
cocky all day."
"Man who screws cook in pantry often
gets ass in jam."
"He who fish in other mans well often
catches crabs."
"Girl who douches with vinegar walk
around with sour puss."
"Boy who goes to bed with sex problem
wake up with solution in hand."
"Girl should not marry basketball
player: he dribbles before he shoots."
"He who chase car will get
exhausted."
"Man who lose key to girl friends
apartment, no get nukie."
"Hooker with bike pedal ass all over
town."
"He who stand on toilet, high on
pot."
"Foolish man give wife grand
piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"All men eat, but Fu Manchu."
"Before becoming master fisherman,
must be master baiter."
"Boy fool with girl in wrong period
get caught red handed."
"Boy who diddle little girl do diddly
squat."
"Girl laid in tomb may soon become
mummy."
"He who eat cookie in bed, will wake
up feeling crumby."
"He who eat ice cream in car is a
Sundae Driver."
"He who eat too many prunes, sit on
toilet many moons."
"He who masturbates in front of cash
register come into money."
"He who pull out too fast leave rubber
behind."
"He who put face in punch bowl get
punch in nose."
"He who stick head in open window get
pane in neck."
"He who stick head in oven get baked
bean."
"Hockey player on ice have big
stick."
"House without toilet, uncanny."
"If you turn an oriental around, he
become disoriented."
"If you want pretty nurse, you got to
be patient."
"Is good to learn how to masturbate,
may come in handy!"
"Man kicked in testicles, left holding
bag."
"Man who abuse his computer get bad
bytes!"
"Man who drive like hell bound to get
there!"
"Man who drop watch in whisky is
wasting time."
"Man who eat photo of father, soon
spitting image of father."
"Man fall in vat of molten glass make
spectacle of self."
"Man who have circumcision lose a bit
of foresight."
"Man who jump off cliff jump to
conclusion!"
"Man who masturbate only screwing
self."
"Man who put cock on stove have hot
rod."
"Man who read woman like book, prefer
braille!"
"Man who sit on hot stove will rise
again."
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who sleep in cat house by day, in
doghouse by night"
"Man who sucks nipples makes clean
breast of things."
"Man with forked tongue not need chop
sticks."
"Man with hand in bush not necessarily
trimming shrubs."
"Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not
find nuts."
"Woman who put detergent on top shelf,
Jump for Joy."
"Woman who wear G-string, high on
crack!
 
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