CREDIT
CARD APPLICATIONS
So you have received a
credit card application? You know what it says, but do know what it
really means?
What it says: "You
have demonstrated financial responsibility..."
What it means: You're breathing!
What it says: "Our
membership is difficult to obtain..."
What it means: Death row prisoners are not eligible... in most states!
What it says: "We
have shortened the application process..."
What it means: "We need lots of new members fast or we'll go out
of business!"
What it says: "You
have no predetermined credit limit..."
What it means: "We're not worried, we employ the Break Your Legs
collection agency."
What it says: "Exceptional
Customer Service..."
What it means: Except when you need it!
What it says: "Trained
customer representatives await your call..."
What it means: "This is the part you talk into, and this is where
you listen. Any questions?"
What it says: "To
apply for membership, fill out this short form..."
What it means: You'll get the long form later.
What it says: "You
may direct us not to share this information with anyone else..."
What it means: "Catch us, if you can!"
What it says: "We
look forward to receiving your completed application..."
What it means: "We baited the hook, let's see if anyone bites!"
What it says: "You've
been pre-approved..."
What it means: "You've been pre-approved to be Rejected!"
or "We've already prepared your letter of denial."
ZZZZZ
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