THINGS
ON THE DEVIL'S TO DO LIST
- Legally change name to the "Artist
Formerly Known as the Prince of Darkness."
- Now that the job is done, get out of
Daryl Strawberry's head.
- Help Bobby Knight write HIS "to do
list".
- Meet O.J. for our 10 a.m. tee time.
- Divorce Bill, change name back to Rodham.
- Buy ice scraper just in case Cleveland
Browns win two games in a row.
- Watch "Big Brother" . . .
sorry, that's not on "anyone's" to do list.
- Collect my cut of that million dollars
from Richard Hatch.
- Encourage Magic Johnson to have more
unprotected sex.
- Read the Bible. . . oops, wrong list.
- Send message to George W. to chill with
the executions.
- Get people to stop sending me those damn
hand-baskets!
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