DIET
RULES FOR CHEATERS
1. If you eat something and no one sees you
eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy
bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories
don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER
count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around
you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered
Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories
because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
7. Cookie pieces contain no fat--the
process of breaking causes fat leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have
no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter
on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
9. Foods that have the same color have the
same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and
white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other
food color.
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories
because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.
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