THE GUNSLINGER
It's 1860, the decade of gunslingers and
gentlemen. This is a true story of one young man that wanted more than anything to
be the fastest and most respected gunslinger in the West. The place was Deadman,
Kansas in the Sawdust saloon.
The young man walked into the Sawdust
saloon and to his surprise he saw Bat Masterson sitting at a table playing poker.
The young man walked up to Bat and said, "Mr. Masterson, I would like to
be a gunslinger just like you. Could you give me some tips?"
Bat Masterson put his cards down, looked up
at the boy and said, "Son, I don't usually give out tips like this cause it could
someday be detrimental to my health, but step back and let me take a look at you."
The boy stepped back and Mr. Masterson
said, "You look good. You're wearing black, you've got two pearl handled
guns with waxed holsters, and you look like a gunslinger. But more important, son,
can you shoot?"
The young man, happy to show how good he
was, quickly drew his pistol from his right holster and without aiming shot the cuff link
off of the piano player's right sleeve.
Bat Masterson said, "That's good
shooting son, but can you shoot with your left hand?"
Before Masterson could finish, the boy had
already drawn the pistol from his left holster and shot the cuff link off of the piano
player's left shirt sleeve.
Very proud of himself the young man blew
the smoke away from his six shooter and holstered his gun. "How was that?"
the boy asked Masterson.
Bat Masterson smiled and looked up and the
boy and said, "That was pretty good shooting son. I couldn't do any better
myself, but I do have one suggestion for you."
"What's that?" the boy asked.
"Well," Masterson said, "I
think you should go to the kitchen and ask the cook for a large can of lard. Then
take both of your guns and stick them down deep in the lard."
Puzzled, the young gunslinger asked
Masterson, "Why I should do that?"
Masterson put his cards down for the second
time, leaned back in his chair and said, "Well son, when Wyatt Earp gets done
playing the piano over there, I expect that he's going to take those two guns of yours and
stick them right up your ass!"
 
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