I'D
RATHER .... THAN _______________ !
(You fill in the blank)
* ... have my nipples chewed off by a pack
of wild dogs than...
* ... suck the snot out of a gorilla's nose
until the back of his head caves in than...
* ... masturbate with a cheese grater
than...
* ... slide down a barbed wire banister
into a bucket of alcohol than...
* ... stick my genitals in a bees nest
than...
* ... crush my foreskin between two tables
whilst being bitch whipped by a fat, mustached geek named Spyros than...
* ... have a porcupine inserted violently
into my rectum than...
* ... drink a gallon of turpentine and piss
on a forest fire than...
* ... suck cow snot through a straw than...
* ... sandpaper a wildcat's ass than...
* ... watch Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne
mud wrestle in the nude than...
* ... bungee jump with the harness tied to
my penis with your mom lying naked in the landing zone than...
* ... pork a polar bear in a phone booth
than...
* ... spend ten hours getting a tattoo on
my back and then find out it's the wrong one than...
* ... cram my dick in the ass of a bear
with inflamed hemorrhoids than...
* ... have the ten strongest 300 pound
linemen in the NFL play tug of war with my nut sack, each side of 5 pulling a separate nut
in a different direction than...
* ... try to open a beer bottle with my
sphincter and not a twist off either than...
* ... have my lower legs stripped with a
wood planer and then wear wool socks in August than...
* ... stick my nose up someone's ass after
he just finished taking a shit than...
* ... shave my poison-ivy covered legs with
a dull barber's razor and no water or soap than...
* ... French kiss a barracuda than...
* ... poke a Grizzly Bear in the ass with a
short stick than...
* ... nail my dick to the middle of a 2x4
and set both ends on fire and try to get loose with a butter knife than...
* ... stick a Hartz flea brush up my ass
and jog a mile than...
* ... have sex with Pee Wee Herman in the
daylight, without a bag to put over his head than...
* ... drink for a week from the septic tank
of the 700 pound man next door than...
* ... wipe my anus with barbed wire than...
* ... insert and break a slender glass rod
in my penis and then tie it in a knot than...
* ... run naked through a rosebush garden
then jump into a pool filled with chlorine than...
* ... lie under an elephant with diarrhea,
in August, with my mouth propped open than...
* ... ride a donkey naked through the
desert with snapping turtles attached to my nipples than...
* ... be tied to a chair and forced to
listen to Barry Manilow tunes while having my tonsils removed with a rusty spoon than...
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