NIPPLE
RINGS
Reasons nipple rings
are a GOOD idea:
* You gain a new and much higher threshold
for pain.
* You have more than just your purse to
keep from losing your car keys.
* With a little body English and a short
copper wire, you can pick up pay-per-view if the weather is right.
* You can now jump car batteries without
cables.
* With only a spinning table and spot light
you can earn extra cash renting yourself out to Club parties.
* Those nasty stretch marks are no longer
the center of attention for your husband or boyfriend.
* You always have a ready replacement if
you lose your wedding ring.
* Every elf in the universe is now your
loyal friend for life.
* Hanging "ten" is child’s
play. Hanging "by two"?? Now that’s impressive!
* Hard vibrators can be "way
more" than a girl's best friend.
Reasons nipple rings
are a BAD idea:
* Perpetual delays at airport security
scanners.
* Potential law suits from elderly people
with pacemakers.
* A friend asks to see your
"ring" and in a blonde moment you almost do it.
* For some reason, combs will seem like
threats.
* Mud wrestling as an occupation is no
longer an option.
* Cats and babies are attracted to shiny
things.
* You'll now have to deal with Velcro
nightmares.
* The aging process has taken on a whole
new meaning.
* Skinny dipping is a real challenge
because of your artificial lures.
* Lightning... it's not just something that
happens to other people anymore.
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