SIGNS
YOUR SWIMMING POOL NEEDS CLEANING
- That green tarp covering your pool? You
DON'T have a tarp on your pool.
- Neighborhood kids ask if they can jump on
your trampoline.
- That guy from Sunset Boulevard is REALLY
beginning to smell gamey.
- pH is so high, in vitro fertilization is
possible.
- Kids still pee in your pool, but they
refuse to get in it first.
- Skipping rocks across it causes sparks.
- New algae species attract a Discovery
Channel film crew to your backyard.
- Jello-like water slowing the pace of
water polo games to unacceptable levels.
- Luke Skywalker and Yoda appear in search
of the sunken X-Wing.
- The Grim Reaper shows up in his Speedo.
- "DREDGE ME" spelled out in
algae on the bottom.
- You can walk on the water, even though
you're only the son of Gus.
- Dr. Kervorkian seen filling IV bottles at
pool side.
- Your recently installed pool filter
resembles the Marlboro Man's chest x-ray.
- You haven't seen that much scum since
Mickey Rourke's last movie.
- The amount of body hair found in the
drain gives even Robin Williams a run for his money.
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